


A Paltry Prelude

by Maester Alestair Lungbottom (whatwecan), whatwecan



Series: A Story of Unfortunate Thrones [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Crack Fic, F/M, Retelling in the Style of Lemony Snicket
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-12 01:48:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20556209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatwecan/pseuds/Maester%20Alestair%20Lungbottom, https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatwecan/pseuds/whatwecan
Summary: A warning for the reader.





	A Paltry Prelude

Whether you come to these pages by chance or design, I must in all honor urge you now to abandon this story and invest your attention into other far more rewarding matters. For, while it is my sworn duty to inscribe the history of the mournful lives of the Stark Orphans onto these pages, you are under no such obligation to read them. 

In truth the tale I am about to recount is extremely vile, doleful, wretched and sadistic –a word which here means: the people whose dicks get cut off are very unlikely to be the people whose dicks you wish would get cut off. 

I assure you, no matter how jaded, or battle-scarred you might think yourself, the recounting of these sorry events will turn your stomach, and so I urge you to attend to other matters and thus prevent any awkwardness from entering into your relationship with sausage rolls, or your twin sister. 

Perhaps you may yet find pictures of kittens, if you like that sort of thing. But in any event, whatever alternate past-time you choose will be a vast improvement on the story which it is my sworn obligation to record. 

Regretfully,

Alestair Lungbottom, Maester of Gloomstruck Gallery


End file.
